I think crying is good for your skin.

I’m writing this on the toilet of a Hilton on the outskirts of Dallas. There’s something about hotel rooms that always feel like a second home to me. Like I chose one of my horcruxes to lie under the covers of every hotel room in the world and only when I’m there do I remember what that part of my soul feels like. I’m on the 18th floor. I don’t tend to like being high up and I realized that especially looking out the wall sized windows today. Looking down on the suburbs makes me hate humanity. The mecca concrete mall across the street from eye-wateringly colorful fast food restaurants makes me question my complicity in the destruction of cultural America. What would I need to do to change these fast fashion buildings into becoming the architectural mirrors of the true spirit of the American people? Because I feel the world we have here currently is stressing the opposite. I feel we’ve made a world where we the people mirror the capitalistic and monopolistic structure into our own personalities. Slimy, greedy us’s who want a cheap high until they can’t feel that the world they live in is actually hollow. Succumb and you won’t know what we have created is meaningless because we chose it to be.

The lay of the land I cast my judgement over from the 18th floor of a Hilton on the outposts of Dallas is nothing but cash crop grey. Corn fields fed back to the people in the form of high fructose syrup. Forcing them to want more. And the more they want, the more cultural significance we need to destroy to create it. What do I need to do to change this? What CAN I do to change this? One voice in a raging sea of ‘manipulated and fine with it’. I’m not going to lie, I’ve felt that this is the question I’ve dreamed of answering. This is my life’s quest. Because I’ve been blessed with knowing the answer all along. Thanks to my family, friends, and anyone I’ve ever felt near and dear to my heart. Love. Everyone deserves love. I’ve been swallowed in it. Absorbed, digested and spit back out. All because of the embraces of everyone who raised me. I grew up drunk on love. And for those who have never experienced, love is like a windex of the soul. It cleans out all the toxins of judgement and fear and allows you to perfectly see into the intentions of your own heart. Who you are. Who you will become. It helps you realize that if you windex hard enough, there actually is no separation between any of us. I am you and you are me, just placed in different situations and locations. I’m extremely grateful for mine. I haven’t experienced a family who’s shown as much care as the one I was born into. And I feel incredibly indebted to them. Indebted in a way that I need to become a megaphone for the love they have made me feel and make the whole of our country feel the same. I’m scared to fail. I’m scared it’s too big a task to achieve. But, the rhythm in my heart tells me it will all play out as it’s supposed to. I’m writing a TV show. And have been for 3 years. It’s going to change our world. I watched Good Will Hunting right before this. And felt I needed to remind myself that I’m not complacent. That I’m on the path of going to see about a girl.